Watching House

What an episode! So awesome! Here we go!!

The episode starts off with a man in a wheelchair. His assistance dog is helping him to cross the road when the man falls asleep in his chair in the middle of the road. He almost gets hit, but the dog saves him. House arrives after 4 p.m. (he said he’d be there by 3 p.m. on the last episode) and Amber almost convinces the rest of the crew to leave again, but Cole tells them about what she’d done before, so they stay. House arrives and passes out files on the new patient. He has Spinal Muscular Atrophy but he fainted for no reason.

House tells the team to split into two groups. The twins suggest splitting up into a man vs woman team, and House agrees.

House: If your parts dangle, over there. If they’re more asthetically pleasing, over there.

Amber says that she wants to be on the men’s team (she later says it’s because House never hires more than one woman, so if he fires the women’s team, she’ll be in). The men are reluctant. Meanwhile Thirteen comes up with a diagnosis of a specific type of parasite that she believes he got when he went to Thailand on a recent trip. She walks into the patients room with two pills and sets them on his bedside table to get him some water. Meanwhile Taub and Kutner (plastic surgeon and the agressive number 6/9) decide to do a buttload of tests in order to find something wrong.

House heads for clinic duty and walks in to see a guy who looks like he was trampled by a few dozen elephants. He cracks a joke about the patient not shaving and the patient jumps up and opens his knife. House backs off but the patient stabs his knife into the electrical socket and gets electrocuted (at this point my husband has a fit, saying that it wouldn’t happen that way because the knife had a plastic handle - I’m not so sure about it, but it was an interesting observation!). House calls for a crash cart and says “I didn’t do it” when the nurses arrive.

Amber heads to the ER and finds Cameron. She says that House is going to kill the patient because he’s turning this into a game (really she’s there to get some sort of an advantage so the guys will let her play on their team). House heads to Cuddy’s and she warns him about turning patient care into a game.

Cuddy: But you know what’s wrong with him.
House: If I didn’t, that would be stupid.

Then we jump to New York City, where Foreman is diagnosing with his new team. (which consists of one woman, one man with long hair, and one hispanic man - sound a bit familiar?!) They come up with a diagnosis and Foreman tells them they did a great job before they leave the office.

Back to Princeton Plainsboro Hospital. Wilson tries talking to House, but House is flicking the knife and wondering why anyone would put their internal organs on a skillet purposefully.

Wilson: Go ask him.
House: That would be cheating.

Back to the patient. Amber goes to the guys and tells them that she’s got an idea that will make House happy - as long as they let her play with them. They agree. They’ve been trying to get a stool sample from the patient, but he’s been constipated. He’s drinking milk of magnesia when they walk in with a jar full of bugs. They’re going to have the bugs bit him and then test the blood of the bugs to see what they need to see. While they’re trying to get the bugs to bite him, he starts choking on the milk-of-mag.

All the applicants are in the lecture hall. House says that the girls did well, because they came up with a diagnosis and went out to try it, while the guys just drew labs and wasted time. He told the girls to go out and stress the patient on the stress table to see if their treatment worked, while the guys were in the penalty box. They were put into House’s office and told not to talk.

House heads into the patient’s room - the one that tried to electrocute himself, and asked him why he did it. The man tells House that he had a car accident a short time ago and was clinically dead for 97 seconds. When he was dead, he saw beautiful things - it was the best 97 seconds of his life. House tells him that it was just because of the endorphins in his body, but the patient says that he’s done every type of drug there is, and he’s never felt like that before.

Back to the crew in the penalty box - they start talking about what could be wrong (even though they’re not supposed to talk) and the “really old guy” comes up with a diganosis of a tumor on the man’s esophogus. Amber sneaks out and heads to the stress lab. She wants to take the patient for a CT Scan, but 13 tells House that the patient passed the stress test and that he’s fine. House calls the doctors into the lecture hall where he’s set up “Tribal Council”. He tells the men that they’re fired. Amber runs in and shows him the CT scan, where she swears that there’s something on the esophogus. House congratulates her for taking the initiative, but says that there is no tumor, just a straightening and weakening from the disease advancing. Out go the men.

Amber runs to Chase and asks him to run labs for her. He refuses because “I may not work for him, but he can still make my life Hell”. She counters. “But what if you could make his life hell?” House tells her to draw the blood and meet him in the lab. When she goes to draw the blood she finds that it’s green. (cue my husband: “He’s the Hulk!”)

The fellows are in the lecture hall again and they figure out that the blood is green because the patient’s liver is failing. (he’d been given a contrast for the CT that the Liver didn’t filter). House unfires them and says that now he’s diagnosing too, because he’d thought it was the parasite as well. He runs into Chase and Cameron in the hall and starts to yell at Chase for helping his doctor. Chase stands up to him and walks off.

Cameron: I like him better this way.

Cuddy catches up with House in the hallway and wants to know why he wants to remove a patient’s eye. He explains about the tumor being in the retna of the eye, and says that they have to remove it. He stops outside of Wilson’s office and yells:

House: Hey Wilson! I’m gonna cut some cripple’s eye out. Wanna come watch?
Dr. Wilson: Good times.

Wilson and House head to the patient’s room and explain what’s going on. The patient says that he doesn’t want the surgery - he doesn’t want to live, suffering, for a few months. He’d rather leave the body that has been trapping him. House asks what he’s leaving FOR - that there’s nothing out there. Wilson shuts him up and then corners him in the hallway.

Wilson: You can’t let a dying man take solace in his beliefs.
House: His beliefs are stupid.
Wilson: Everybody lies. Some for good reasons, some for bad. This would have been a fantastic reason to lie.
House holds his hand out to Wilson: Hi, Greg House.
House: He’s making a decision based on a lie. Misery’s better then nothing.
Wilson: You don’t know there’s nothing. You haven’t been there.
House: Oh, God, I’m tired of that argument. I don’t have to go to Detroit to know that it smells.
Wilson: Yes. Detroit…the afterlife…same thing.

Back to Foreman in New York. The treatment didn’t work and he wants to radiate the patient. His boss (a female boss - wow - sounds familiar again) says that he can’t because she believes the patient has a virus, and radiating her will kill her. She believes that Foreman is trying to re-do the time when he accidentally killed a patient. She tells him that he can NOT radiate his patient.

Back to House - Amber and 13 are in the patient’s room and do a lung tap - the fluid is clear, which means he doesn’t have cancer. Suddenly Amber gets beeped by House. She heads to his room and a bright flash fills the room. She sees the knife sticking in the socket and House down for the count on the floor. She immediately starts compressions.

Wilson goes into the lecture hall and says that House has burned his hand pretty badly and that he hasn’t woken up yet. He then says that they need to diagnose the “real” patient. We then cut to Wilson standing by House, who’s opening his eyes.

Wilson: You’re an idiot.

He tells him that he nearly killed himself.

House: That was the whole idea.
Wilson: You wanted to kill yourself?
House: I wanted to nearly kill myself.

He then asks to talk to the other patient - the one that tried to kill himself the same way House did. He says it’s important he talks to him. Wilson informs them that the patient died a few hours ago.

Wilson: Apparently it’s bad to electrocute yourself after getting a number of internal injuries. Just looking at you hurts. I’m going to order up some extra pain meds.
House: I love you.

Back to the crippled patient’s room. He’s having a hard time breathing, and asks 13 to bring his dog to him. She puts the dog on the bed and he asks her to put his hand on the dogs head.

Patient: Don’t worry - I’m not scared.

(at which point Randi starts bawling and gets ’silly female’ looks from her husband)

And the patient dies. Amber goes into House’s room and tells him that the patient died. She helps House out of bed and he heads to the patient’s room, where 13 still is. He notices that the dog’s not moving, and the vet discovers that the dog is dead too. House asks 13 if she watched the patient take the pills she gave him WAY at the beginning of the episode. She says “I don’t know”. He looks around and finds the cup with chew marks on it. The dog had swallowed pills that are fatal to canines. The patient really did have the parasites, but because he never took the meds (due partly to the guys coming in to run a battery of tests), he died.

Cuddy blames House for the death. Meanwhile we cut back to Foreman, who had snuck the patient out for radiation against orders. His boss asks how the patient is doing - turns out Foreman was right and the radiation saved her life. She’s mad that he didn’t follow orders, and she fires him.

House heads to the morgue where 13 is sitting beside the body. He starts to lecture her.

13: Enough of the lecture. Just get it over with and fire me.
House: If I was going to fire you, I wouldn’t be lecturing you.

He says that he fired the rest of her team, but not her. He tells her that he knows she’ll never make the same mistake again, and that he’ll see her tomorrow.

He covers up the patient, but not before saying, “I told you so.”

WOW WOW WOW! Awesome episode! I loved this episode, and it reminded me that I love 13 and I love Kutner. I also love the old guy LOL - I wanted to see more of Kutner, but hopefully we’ll get that in two weeks.

What did you think?! Do you hate Amber the way I do? Which new doc do you like?

Remember, one of the new hits has it’s third episode tonight - it’s not QUITE as good as House, but it’s decent to watch! Check out Watching Bionic Woman.

House, 97 Seconds