Watching House

Before you read this know that I took a Percocet about a half an hour before I watched the show due to a massive headache that wouldn’t go away – so I guess I’m really Housing it!!

Show starts with what looks to be a Jewish wedding, filmed in a grainy style during the ceremony. The bride (Laura Silverman) tells a woman that she knows she chose well for her.

Roz: I’ve been blessed.

The bride, Roz, and groom are being tossed in the air on chairs when suddenly blood appears on her dress and she falls down to the ground, passed out.

And we’re at PPTH. Wilson heads to the elevator and House cuts Wilson off, to talk about Amber.

Wilson: Amber and I have a lot in common.
House: She’s a cut throat bitch, you cry over dark victory.

A moment later:

House: She’s not dying, is she?

Wilson admits that he’s been dating Amber for four months (holy crap), and that she’s not needy.

House: She’s scary. Why does scary need pathetic?

Wilson even gives House permission to talk to CTB!

The ducklings are starting to diagnose the patient when Kutner admits that he knew that Amber was dating Wilson because he’d asked her out but she had said she was dating someone else (no one else knew that she was dating Wilson). Back to diagnosing - House thinks that she tried to poison herself with carbolic acid.

The rest under the ‘more’ so that we don’t ruin the surprise for anyone who hasnt’ seen it yet!

Foreman and Taub are checking out the house of the patient, where Foreman discovers that the patient is a producer for hard rock music.

Back in the patients room, the patient admits that she’s been a hacidic jew for six months, but that she was addicted to heroin before (but not now). She says that she fell into the Jewish lifestyle due to classes that she took.

CTB goes home and finds House in her home.

House: Wilson had a key.

He thinks that Amber is dating Wilson for a bigger reason – something to do with him, and that she’s toying with Wilson.

House: Your goal is pure feral vengeance.

A minute later.

Amber: So, what is it House? Am I in this for you, or am I in this for him?
House: Give him back his sweatshirt. Pit stains don’t become you.

House goes back to PP and Kutner and Taub are trying to diagnose some more. House says that the change in her lifestyle is a symptom.

Taub: Look, she’s crazy, but we can’t just give her 10 cc’s of atheism and send her home.

(Taub had a good line! Yes!)

House believes that she has an altered mental status because she went so extreme. House thinks that it’s Profuria. Her husband, however, thinks its odd that they’re treating her without knowing for sure what’s going on. The husband goes to Cuddy and says that he wants another doctor – someone who doesn’t base their diagnosis on their religion.

House: If you prefer, I can give you my second best diagnosis.

House tries to convince the religious husband that he’s right by saying that since he follows the 613 commandments, he should follow House.

House: You follow 600 commandments?
Husband: 613.
House: You understand them all?
Husband: It takes a lifetime of learning…
House: But you follow the commandments you don’t understand because the ones you do understand make sense, and you believe the guy who created them knew what he was doing.
Husband: Yes.
House: You will trust my diagnosis, you’ll let me treat her, because in this temple, *I* am Dr. Yahweh.

Yaweh, for those of us that don’t follow the Jewish faith, is a name for God

The husband, however, still wants a new doctor. The two are talking when his beeper goes off because the patient is having a hard time breathing.

The next morning her o2 sats are back up after she’d been on oxygen all night. House tells them to run her through a stress test to see if it’s lupus *it’s never lupus*.

House shows up at the same place Wilson and Amber are (a fusion restaurant).

CTB: Hi Greg. And I call you Greg because we are now social equals.
House: And I call you Cut Throat Bitch well…*speaks in latin*. And I speak in Latin because I don’t try to hide what an ass I am.

House starts saying that Wilson likes the way she is conniving and out for her own agenda.

House: Oh my god. You’re sleeping with me.

House leaves.

Roz is on the stress machine and Taub tells her to go harder.

Roz: I am going harder, dammit.

Her husband looks through the window at her. I’m guessing that was a bad toad. The husband is concerned that she will change House is right. Roz gets off the machine and falls down, complaining that her leg hurts.

House and Foreman are discussing Roz and he tells Foreman to do an MRI and an FMRI, then he gets 10 bucks off of Foreman for the vending machine because, of course, he missed lunch.

Foreman and 13 are doing the MRI (or the FMRI, not sure which one) and are discussing how they oversimplify people.

Foreman: I’m sure that you have many reasons to keep yourself a mystery – besides the fact that you’re bisexual. WHAT?! Denial would’ve worked before the long vacant stare.

NO DENIAL! WOAH!

House shows up in the MRI room and tells them to start a new IV to see if the patient actually likes pain. Foreman reluctantly goes in and rubs the IV, causing pain, and when they do, her brain lights up and it looks like she likes the pain. She says that she was praying when Dr. Foreman came in, and when she goes to get up she starts to crash. The second Foreman puts her in the chair, though, she stabilizes. House has them bring her to her feet and she starts to crash again. She sits down and once again things get better.

House: Make her do that again.

They’re diagnosing and say that her pressure is going backwards and doing the opposite of what it’s supposed to have. Kutner thinks that it could be a heart problem, that the wiring may be wrong.

House sees Wilson comes in and confronts him, saying that he knows that Wilson checked out of the hotel. Wilson agrees that Amber is exactly like House and that it makes sense.

House: She’s not me. Well, she’s like me, but she’s a needy version of me.
Wilson: She wasn’t needy, she was in a bad situation.
House: Not to your libido.

Kutner and Taub are checking out Roz’s heart. Taub admits that he doesn’t think that Hasidic Jews are crazy anymore.

Roz starts mumbling through her sedative state and mumbles something about bisexual and how it was interesting.

House walks into Cuddy’s office.

House: I need you to sleep with Wilson.

He explains why he thinks Amber is bad for her.

Cuddy: I wish I could help, but as hospital administrator there are people in accounting I need to sleep with first.

Cuddy says that House is worried about the relationship succeeding.

House: People don’t change just because they wish they could.
Cuddy: And it bugs you that he wishes he could! You’ll never lose your friend, House. You’re the long distance runner of neediness.

The ducklings have Roz in a heat room with a powder on her that will show how she sweats. Her husband is upset that he has to see her in a tank top and short shorts. Her body temperature stops climbing and she goes into a seizure.

Instead of sweating, Roz was freezing, which, once again, is backwards. The team thinks that she may be missing cortisone.

Cuddy approaches Wilson at the pharmacy.

Cuddy: Are you sure that she doesn’t just want to take you back to her lair, hang you upside down and lay your eggs in you?

Cuddy tells Wilson that because amber looks out for herself, and Wilson looks out for whomever he’s with, the relationship will self destruct.

13’s in Roz’s rom and she’s feeling better. Until 13 notices that her stomach is a bit swollen and she goes into shock. 13 sticks a needle into her abdomen and it fills up with blood, because, apparently she’s bleeding internally.

Enter CHASE! Chase, we missed you! Chase says that he can see the bleeding but not where it’s coming from on the MRI, and that he should open her up to search to find the bleeding. She tells Chase that she doesn’t want the surgery because it won’t find out what the problem is, and that she wants to see one sunset with her husband (apparently this is important in the Jewish faith, but I’m not sure why.

Chase tells House that he had a rabbi call her, but that she’s adamant. Now they’re down to a few hours to diagnose her. Chase comes back and says that there’s no reason that they can’t make sunset occur, in order to get her to have the surgery.

Foreman and Taub bring her back to her room where the dinner is prepared so that they can trick her.

Amber shows up in House’s office as he’s beckoned her there. He tells her that if she solves the case he’ll give her a job, but that she has to drop Wilson.

Amber: Why do you have to believe I have an alterior motive?
House: For the same reason I believe a crack whore is going to have sex…for crack.

Amber tells House that she has discovered both love and respect with Wilson, and that it beats a fellowship. She leaves the office but not before she gives a diagnosis a shot.

House: You’ve changed.
CTB: I hope so.

Roz and her husband (and 13) are in her room doing the ceremony. Taub, Foreman, Kutner, and House are in the office trying to discover what the problem is.

House: Things aren’t where we want them to be just because we want them to be there. *cue the figured it out look* course that doesn’t mean they’re where they should be.

He walks into the hallway where she’s heading to surgery.

House: Hey! Stop that Jew.

He tells 13 to help him stand her up. Her blood pressure starts to go down. House pushes up on the right side of her chest and her blood pressure comes back. She has floating kidney (or nephroctosis). It was apparently hanging on in her body badly until something shook it up (the chair toss), and every time she stood up, it was dropping, causing her symptoms. They didn’t catch it on the MRI or any scans because they do scans when the patient is lying down. House says to ultrasound it, and then to have Chase put it back on the “shelf� where it belongs and that she’ll be find.

The orderlies push her away and he looks at 13.

House: You do it both ways, right?
13: What?
House: The ultrasound. You do it standing up and lying down. What else would I mean?

House drops by Wilson’s office and opens the door.

House: I’ve decided – you can do worse than a female proxy for me.

He leaves and Wilson catches him downstairs. He thinks through it and tells House that he’s shocked – that House is being self-sacrificing. House, however, says that he won’t sacrifice self.

House: Shabbat Shalom (as he walks off)
Wilson: Shabbat Shalom House.

So what did you think?! I’m going to drop the wonderful Laura Silverman a line and let her know that I thought she was great – if you’d like to leave her a message about her performance, I’ll make sure she gets it!