Watching House

We open with a really, REALLY frozen wasteland and a lot of wind machines (to catch the energy). It looks like a man is checking things out and headed back to a huge snowmobile type thing. Suddenly one of the wind machines falls off and a blade hits him in the leg, complete with blood spurts. A woman comes running out (I can only tell she’s a woman because she’s thinner – they’re both covered in snow clothes). She says that the bleeding has stopped because the ice was freezing the blood. The blade cut the femeral artery and she repairs it using glue. They duct tape the leg and when she tries to help him up she falls down, writhes in pain, vomits, and says she needs help.

We’re back at PP where House is trying to watch TV in a patient’s bedroom (that he can’t watch because apparently they’re charging the patients for cable now – how evil!). Cuddy tells him that the patient is an adjunct doctor at the hospital – a psychiatrist, and that she’s trapped at the south pole. He brings the case to the ducklings who ask if they can evacuate her, but apparently the winds make it too difficult for an evacuation for the next two months. They start diagnosing.

13: Could be appendicitis or a gall stone…
Kutner: Or a kidney stone.
House: That wouldn’t be any fun!

The rest of the recap below the more sign so that we don’t spoil it for anyone!

They start talking about it being a specific kind of stone that could occur when a woman has had a lot of sex and has gotten an infection.

House: Excessive Antarctic drilling…bad for the environment and the ladies.

House dumps a box full of supplies and medications that the patient has available at her location. Kutner asks what else is available, as some geographical scientists have the same types of things that the doctors use to break up stones.

Kutnery: Discovery channel. I like watching them blow stuff up.
House: Who doesn’t?

House goes to visit Cameron to try to convince her to stop charging patients for cable (she’s on the board). She tells him that charging for cable is bringing in $13,000 a month. House says that he will spend $13,000 a day until the injustice is righted.

Cameron: I am NOT giving you cable. You’re going to have to survive with broadcast networks.
House: They’re fine on Tuesdays. (MWA HA HA HA – HILARIOUS!!!)

House walks into the diagnosis room to see the ducklings talking to the patient on a nice flat-screen.

House: Oh great, I can’t get cable but I can get the South Pole in high def.

House sends the ducklings off to help Cameron in the ER, so that if she makes a mistake he can use it to blackmail her. They leave and the patient is going to use the soundwave machine that the scientists use to break up her supposed stone. They test it on a glass with an egg inside it and the glass blows up. She tells him that she doesn’t think she has the condition.

House: Lemme guess, you’re as pure as the driven snow.
Kate: Only if the snow likes to be on top.

She tells him that she’s had no UTI’s, and Foreman asks her to take a Chem 7 blood test to discover if the liver is failing.

The ducklings tell Cameron what’s going on and they say that they’ll make her life a living hell unless she gives him cable.

The tests are back and the kidney is decreasing. They’re arguing and she starts breathing fast, and he notices that she’s breathing fast because her right lung is decreasing. House has her grab a syringe and stab herself in the chest. She starts breathing well again.

House: See all the good stuff that happens when you listen to me?
Patient: Means it’s not a kidney stone.

Foreman thinks that she’s got a tumor and House tells her that she may have cancer. He tells her to x-ray her entire body and she says she will upload the images to him when she’s done.

Wilson looks over the x-rays and he finds an abnormal thing. House, however, notices that Wilson is wearing a lavender shirt and looks “happy�. House takes a laptop home and asks her to do a physical. She says she’s not undressing unless she sees his apartment, so House takes her for a walk around her apartment. The two start “diagnosing� each other, with her saying that he’s a loner who needs to drink in order to fall asleep.

House: Great. You’ve got me all figured out. You going to fix me now?
Kate: (with a sly smile) I never said you needed fixing.

Wilson and Foreman are in the lab trying to figure out what Kate can use as a stain to find more lymph problems. Meanwhile, Kate has gotten naked (all except her socks because it’s so cold) and House is watching on his couch. He starts playing some sexy music (this is hilarious!!) while she’s trying to palpate the nodes. She finds a node in her stomach that is swollen.

She’s on the table icing up her stomach (directly above her belly button) and Wilson is talking her through biopsing the lymph node. She does the procedure and Wilson notices that House is treating Kate different than he treats most customers. Wilson, House discovers, is going out to lunch to meet someone and he wants to know who.

Wilson: Okay, look, the reason I haven’t told you is…(and he runs out the door).

Cameron then confronts House who tells him that she quit the board so she can’t give him cable. He then gets the ducklings to post up “free puppy� signs with Cameron’s phone number on them.

Wilson is looking at the results from the biopsy and they’re talking. Wilson says “no wonder he likes you�. He tells her that she doesn’t have cancer based on the biopsy and she’s overjoyed…until she discovers that her left side hurts. She gets loud in pain.

Kate: I’m screwed.

House tells her that it’s her other kidney and that the inflammation in her biopsy points to autoimmune disease. He wants her to take prednisone but she won’t take it because she doesn’t want to use medications without proof in case another crew member needs the medications.

Wilson, Foreman, and House are in House’s office. Foreman wants Kate to go outside in order to see if the swelling goes down and she gets better, but House doesn’t want her to.

Foreman: Wilson’s right. You like her.

Instead, they figure out a way she can draw blood and, using a paperclip in the blood, discover if it’s an autoimmune disease. She has to wait for a few hours to discover the results.

In the cafeteria Cuddy tells House that she had to fire Cameron because she made a huge mistake in the ER. House figures out it’s a setup and doesn’t bite. She says that the test is negative. Foreman tells her that she can go outside to see if her kidney pain decreases. She’s getting ready to go outside when she holds the laptop and falls to the floor.

It took the station mechanic (the guy she fixed) 20 minutes to respond and Kate slipped into a coma. House is drilling Wilson in the elevator, trying to discover who is girlfriend is.

House: There’s only five women we both know. Cuddy, your ex-wives…
Wilson: Yo momma.

House tells the mechanic to drink her urine to see if it tastes concentrated. He then discovers that the mechanic loves Kate, which means that he can get him to do anything he wants.

Back to the ducklings – he tells them that the entire Cameron thing was to get them to stop playing games and to stop worrying that they’re going to get fired.

House: Now go pay for my cable.

The mechanic drinks the urine, which tastes watery (ewwwww), so it means it’s not her kidneys. They tell the mechanic to drill a hole in her skull. House has to talk him into it using the love angle.

Foreman is talking the mechanic through drilling a hole in Kate’s skull. When he does, Kate wakes up. All of the ducklings are trying to discover what the real problem the doctor has is. Kutner comes up with a theory that it’s a type of emboli that’s blocking the arteries. A fat emboli. House thinks that it’s impossible.

House: Between the x-rays and the exam I’ve seen every….

He gets back on the screen and tells the mechanic to take off Kate’s socks. Her big toe is broken. Tiny bits of bone marrow have been leaking into her system, causing the blockages. The mechanic fixes her toe and House says she’ll be fine. She hugs the mechanic (while looking at House in the monitor with a smile on her face).

House shows up at the restaurant trying to figure out who Wilson’s dating. Wilson’s date shows up.

House: Cut throat bitch?
Wilson: I call her Amber.

And it ends! WOW! What an awesome episode! What did you think?!