Watching House

We open with a woman playing tennis – she drops to the ground. Then we’ve got a construction worker working a crane lift. He falls out of the cab. Next is a kickboxer who suddenly drops as well. Then, a tuba player who coughs up blood and then falls. The bodies are piling up here.

13 walks into an auditorium and grabs a brown haired woman who was teaching and who had a corneal transplant five years before and whisks her away.

The duckies and Dr. House are trying to diagnose what is wrong in the morgue when House asks…

House: What did Wilson do for me?

The ducklings have two patients – the brown haired lady and “Frank” who has a problem with his pancreas. The only thing that the patients have in common is that they all were recipients of a transplant from a singular donor. House tells the ducklings to go check out what cancer killed them all.
House shows up in the cafeteria and asks the lady to put his tab on Dr. O’Shea, who pays for the lunch. He’s checking out the doctor to be a new friend! Foreman shows up and says the patients eye is fine but that he wants to remove it to see what’s wrong. House actually argues FOR doing something like this, and he’s arguing against it because it is her only working eye. He says it’s something else killing her. He asks Dr. Oshea if he wants to come over and watch something on television.

Dr. Oshea: You know I’m not gay, right?
House: Neither am I. If you don’t want to have sex, that’s fine with me.

Oshea, however, isn’t going over to House’s.

The rest of the recap is under the cut to protect people who haven’t seen the show yet!

Foreman and House are testing the patient’s vision problems and Foreman says they need to remove her eye, but House disagrees with him because she didn’t squint. He stands up and says they need to remove the whole head instead and has a cleaver that he swipes at her with – she starts screaming.

House: (w/o a cleaver) hallucinations – that’s a brain thing, right?

They’re diagnosing again, this time in the doctor’s lounge as they watch the kickboxing fight. Nothing seems to make sense and the maintenance guy is being a smartass but they discover he’s wearing argyle socks and construction boots. House admits that he is a private investigator…one who keeps making weird coughing/sneezing sounds.

He has dug up tons of stuff on one of the “dead guys”. He was able to get for different footages of the kickboxing fight and tons and tons of information – and charged $2300.

House says he wants them to biopsy POW’s brain but the ducklings don’t agree. Now he wants to biopsy Frank’s brain instead, since he’s closer to death. POW sits up and says that she has a daughter and a husband, but is lying to try to convince the wife to agree to the surgery. As they’re fighting, Frank stops breathing. Taub trach’s him and he then goes into cardiac arrest. Bye bye Frank – we’ll miss you!

House plans on an autopsy instead.

POW is sitting alone in her room while Taub has got Frank’s brain pulled apart on a table and it’s clean. House is back to thinking it is cancer again and Foreman says that he wants it to be cancer so that he has an excuse to talk to Wilson.

Kutner comes up with a good theory (I totally missed that one) and House says to do a colonoscopy on the patient if her stomach gets sore as well as a four year old who the donor fathered. Kutner’s got the four year old on the table – I have a four year old – that sucked to watch.

House is with the investigator in an ice cream truck. Investigator knows that House wants him to check out Wilson and that he wants to know that he’s pining and that he wants to come back. If there’s something he can do to make him want to come back. Investigator says there’s nothing.

House’s beeper goes off and the colonoscopy on the child was clean (thank god). Kutner comes up with the idea of putting water pressure up a dead guy’s colon in order to see if it opens to release something toxic which would have killed them all…whew, that was a mouthful.

While squirting water up the colon Kutner puts too much pressure and the stomach explodes all over Foreman. Now, I know lot of House fans crap on Foreman, but that was a little too literal!

The heart rate on POW has gone up (apparently her name is Apple). House asks them to look for hidden protein markers and he wants to start treating her for cancer even though the ducklings are sure she doesn’t have it.

House goes into the patient’s room and looks over her chart – he’s really there to ask her to sign for consent for chemo. He admits that she doesn’t have cancer but then says that it’s the placebo effect, which is why he can’t tell her that she has cancer (which she doesn’t have – argh House, confuzzling).

POW tells House that she used to be an architect, but that she gave it up after she could see because the world looked ugly. She says that the world is as bad a place now that she can see as it was when she couldn’t.

House: You’re fun.

Investigator says that Wilson has got a new job – they talk while they’re “stalking” a woman. He says that Wilson goes to a grief counseling session and that Cuddy and Cameron have been over at Wilson’s house. The woman in blue approaches them and says that they’re making her uncomfortable by following her.

House: She’s not your type. Your type is much stupider than her.

Investigator actually has got three bugs in Wilson’s house and he apparently never talks about House.

The beeper goes off again and this time it’s because things are getting better with the patient.

Foreman: I can’t believe it. It’s cancer.
House: It’s not cancer.

They’re diagnosing again and House keeps saying it’s not cancer.

House: we have to find something that walks like cancer, talks like cancer, tastes like cancer, but isn’t cancer.

Apparently the tuba player was taking chemo medications for arthritis and he died last, so House is convinced that POW’s going to die.

House goes to Wilson’s and offers to pay him his going rate, 300 an hour. He says he needs an epiphany. Wilson asks him to go away and tries to close the door on him. House stops it with his hands.

House: how are you
Wilson: don’t do this. Please. Please. I’m trying to move on.

House admits that he paid an investigator to spy on Wilson. Wilson says that he has the right to leave House and that he won’t answer the door the next time House knocks and closes the door on him.

Investigator: friends are important…friends…
House: shut up. Friends allow you to not sit alone in a room.

While talking to the investigator House gets his epiphany.

House sees Cuddy and says that there is something in her brain that’s “brain, but not brain”. The cells floated around and masked themselves as tissues from other organs, but when they were needed they gave out and the people ended up dead. Cuddy says no to the surgery. House sees two body guards in front of the patient’s room preventing him from doing the surgery because the chemo is working.

House calls someone and someone does something with POW’s IV. Suddenly she’s crashing and we see a “nurse” walking away…with argyle socks. I could come to like this investigator.

Looks like the brain cutting can begin! The doctors are getting right into her skull to see hat’s going on – Chase is, of course, there to help. They place a wire mesh thingy on her brain and the investigator comes into the observation room with House. He’s not happy that House tricked him into switching the meds – he thought she’d be fine. House explains that it’s actually helping her.

They find the piece of tissue that House said was there. He visits the patient in her room and she’s got her eyes covered. House buzzes the nurses and they come running again and ask if he’s ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf.

House: whenever the boy cries wolf, mom’s going to come running.

The nurse leaves and House buzzes her again.

House: just proving a point.

He tells her that the world isn’t as ugly as she thought, as the tissue was causing her to not see what everyone else was seeing. He takes the gauze off.

House: How do I look?
POW: You look sad.

Cut to House in his office – he calls the investigator and asks if he can put him on retainer.

So what did you think of this episode?