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Interview with House

by Randi

It’s pretty obvious that it’s going to take something major in order to get an interview with Hugh Laurie, but I woke up this morning and thought, “you know, I can have an interview with House!” So here it is, my interview with Dr. Gregory House!

Laurieinterview.jpgWatching House: Dr. House - first let me say thank you for agreeing to a phone interview with me today.

Dr. House: You got Cuddy to let me out of clinic duty so I’ll give you a few minutes. Then I have to go find my fellows and make sure that they aren’t killing anyone today.

WH: How are you getting along with the new fellows, Dr. House?

House: It’s good to have a plastic surgeon around - you never know when I’ll want to change things up and start looking like Michael Jackson so I can attract little kids. Number 6…or 9…is enjoyable as well, because if you can’t have your token black guy, you need to have your token Asian genius. Although, come to think of it, he’s not exactly a genius.

WH: And what about 13?

House: 13? I have a fellow that is unlucky enough to go by that number? Poor fellow.

WH: A lot of people are remarking on the similarities and differences between 13 and Cameron.

House: Cameron? Oh! The moron that’s wasting her talents in the ER hanging banana bags and stitching up gimps. I remember her.

WH: So Dr. House, what do you feel is the most important part of diagnosing a patient? Is it getting a proper history? Sneaking into their home to get the real story? Asking the right questions?

House: Drugs.

WH: Excuse me?

House: Without my vicodin I wouldn’t be able to function, and if I can’t function I can’t diagnose.

WH: If you had to pick one fellow right now to keep on, who would you choose?

House: I have to choose one? I sort of figured they’d all walk off sooner or later.

WH: So is there any chance that you and Cuddy will get together?

House: Been there, got the t-shirt.

WH: So no reconcilliation?

House: Reconcilliation? When you ride the rollercoaster once, do you need to ride it again to know that you’ll throw up?

WH: Ummm - I guess not. Well Dr. House, thank you for your time today!

House: *yelling to someone else* WILSON! I heard you’re dating another woman that’s going to die in a few months! Talk about a fear of commitment.

Wilson: (in the background) Yes, well, thank you for making that public knoweldge. You know, we can’t all be heartless bastards like you House.

House: Heartless bastard? I’ll have you know that just yesterday….*dial tone*

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One Response to “Interview with House”

  1. Judy Says:

    Please thank Dr. House for that very informative interview.
    “When you ride the rollercoaster once, do you need to ride it again to know that you’ll throw up?” loved it!

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