Watching House

This is going to be a quick recap - it’s late LOL.

The episode opens with a teen karate student taking on another student. Shortly after she’s done wiping the floor with him, she starts oozing blood from her mouth. Eww..

During their first discussion over the girl, Cuddy pulls House and Foreman aside so that Foreman can sign his resignation papers - after which he tells Chase and Cameron that he’s quit. From the first House swears that it’s an infection that’s bothering the girl, for they can find nothing else wrong with their dozens of tests.

House visits Wilson and gets some coffee from him. He notices that Wilson is yawning and thinks that there’s a medical reason for it. After talking with his crew, they remind him that antidepressants can cause yawning.

House goes into the clinic and meets a man whose poops float. He’s got his girlfriend with him, Piper Perabo (Coyote Ugly), who’s a vegan nutritionist. House seems intrigued by her. He diagnoses the boyfriend, telling Piper that he’s cheating on her - with cheeseburgers. He has Piper fill out an application form just so he can get her phone number.

While he’s in the clinic, House gets some amphetamines and, back in his office, crushes them up and puts them in an espresso. Wilson walks in and House tricks him into taking the doctored coffee.

Foreman goes into Wilson’s office to find Wilson on Fast Forward. He’s talking extremely fast and is very jittery from the amphetamines - REALLY funny stuff. He goes into a breast exam and hits on the patient, and then, after he checks his heart rate, figures out that House has drugged him. He heads to House’s house and confronts him, to which House confronts him with the fact that he’s on anti-depressants and didn’t tell him. House denies that he’s unhappy and asks Wilson for some pills, to prove that he’s not unhappy.

Back to the patient - she’s not having a good day. In the MRI machine, she starts screaming that her head is killing her. Turns out that the back of her head literally exploded! House is videotaping it while Foreman is cleaning it out later and he comments, “Yeah, but her head exploded - how cool is that?!” House swears throughout the entire episode that the patient has an infection and an RH deficiency which will kill her in a matter of days.

When he goes to tell the patient, she doesn’t care what’s killing her. House walks out and then back in and smiles at her and tells her how cool it is to be curious and to diagnose - when the girl notices that he’s smiling. He excuses himself and rushes to Wilson’s office. Turns out Wilson had been drugging House’s coffee with anti-depressants for weeks. He realizes that something is wrong with the teen and goes back to her room.

He kicks the parents out, assuring them that she will live, and sits down for a heart-to-heart with her, asking her why she swallowed kitchen cleaner. She had ingested the disgusting substance with cushioners so that they didn’t immediately burn her throat, and instead burned a hole in her esophogus. The esophogus repaired itself, but incorrectly, allowing germs and infections to invade the blood stream. A quick surgery and she will be fine. The teen tells House that she has never been happy.

Cuddy calls Foreman to her and tells him that there are a lot worse things to be like than House.

House heads to a bar, where he meets up with Piper Perabo. She figures out that it’s not a job interview and, even after he tells her all his faults, seems to like him.

Will Piper Perabo appear next week? What’s up with Foreman, where will he go?! It’s getting good people!