Watching House

WOW WOW WOW! That was an awesome episode! I was a bit worried about the new people, but I thought it worked! It almost gave an “ER” feel to the show, without really making it seem like ER, because we knew that most of the candidates would be gone quickly. Here’s the quickie recap!

The episode started with Captain Greta Cooper - she was flying (and crashing) a flight simulator because she started seeing strange colors. She later said she was “hearing with her eyes”.

Jump to House - he’s in a room with TONS of fellow candidates, asking them who the picture on the screen is.

House: Take a shot. I’m not going to fire you every time you give a wrong answer.
Applicant: Neville Chamberlain.
House: Wrong. You’re fired.

That’s pretty much how he whittled down candidates. Cuddy told him that he could only hire three, so House fired row D - until a cute girl came out and he says “I’m sorry - I was wrong - it’s not row D, it’s row C that is fired.”

He gets a page - from his own office. He heads to the office and finds Captain Cooper, who dumps $50,000 on his desk in order to cure her. She tells him that everything has to be off the books because she’s in line for NASA, and there are 100 candidates that are completely healthy right behind her waiting to take her place. House asks what’s in it for him, and she explains her symptoms, intriguing him.

He heads back to the fellows and introduces her as Osama bin Laden. He has some of the candidates run diagnostic tests while others break into her house and still others run to wash his car. One catty blonde says that she’s not washing his car and convinces the others to walk off with her. She returns a bit later, having used her wits to get others to quit so that there are fewer people to go against. Meanwhile House has three of the applicants put Cooper into a hyberberic chamber in order to make sure there is enough oxygen in her lungs. She winds up going into v-tach and Kai Penn (Kutner and number 6) brings in the defibrillator paddles, shocking her and causing a fire to break out on her chest. They get the fire out and her heart is now beating.

When they go to House’s office to tell him, he’s looking at something on the computer.

House: What, you’ve never seen the naked female form before?
13: I don’t think she’s seen it spooning with a dolphin.
House: Porpoise - Porpoise - there’s a difference you know.
13: Should we give you a minute?

To read the rest of the episode, click below!

He sees Chase walk by and quickly goes after him, only to be waylayed by more candidates.

House: Did you just see a blonde guy with a pretentious accent?
Amber: You can’t see an accent.
House: Good point.

They check her thyroid and she starts having another attack. She runs away and locks herself in the chapel. The applicants call House and when they’re trying to convince Cooper to come out (by blackmailing her), House thinks he sees Cameron in the lobby. Cooper rushes out and they catch her - and Cuddy finds them.

She storms into the room with all the applicants and demands to know who the girl is. One little tattle tale tells her, and she lays into House, demanding copies of every test done on Cooper. House comes back in and fires the guy that told who Cooper was. He also fires Kutner, number 6. He wants to test her liver, but can’t figure out how to do it without ordering a diagnostic test. He heads to see Wilson.

Dr. Wilson: You want me to reveal the secret scanning techniques I learned in Nepal? The monks made me swear a blood oath.

Wilson tells him that that there’s no way he could be seeing Chase and Cameron, as they were both in Arizona.

He walks back into the room and sees Kutner in the room again.

House: I fired you.
Kutner: No you didn’t
Amber: He fired you. You’re number 6.
Kutner: No, I’m number 9. (he turned the sign upside down)
House: I approve of your shamelessness. You’re still fired.

Until Kutner suggests giving Cooper shots of tequila to test her liver function. So House, Cole (the black guy), Thirteen and Cooper all start doing shots (a non-drinker, a medium drinker and a heavy drinker). House suddenly sees Foreman! He heads after him and while he’s gone, Cooper has a hard time breathing. House finds them all in the stress test room. Thirteen tells House that the records will show that she was given oxygen while doing a routine stress test. House puts a stethascope against her lungs and taps, realizing something is wrong.

But how do you do a surgery without leaving a scar?

One of the candidates is a plastic surgeon and recommends a breast augmentation. This way the scars will be from elective surgery and Cooper can have the surgery he needs. Cuddy walks in while House is scrubbing in.

House: I scheduled a diagnostic patient for a boob job, which is ridiculous. So obviously, you had to confront me.
Dr. Cuddy: I’m with you so far.
House: But I’m going to give you a reason.
Dr. Cuddy: Not a good one.
House: No. Not even close to a good one. But here’s the drag from your point of view. My explanation won’t make sense to the Board, not to a judge, but to you, so you’ll let me do it. Then, you’re going to have to sit next to me at the administrative hearing. Don’t you have better things to do? It’s in the best interests of the patient.

They do the surgery and House finds cysts on her lung. He asks the crew what Cooper has, and they come up blank. A voice suddenly booms, “Von Hippel-Lindau Syndrome”. House sees Chase up in the observation room and tells him that it’s a closed operation - Chase replies, “not to the surgical staff”.

Some of the applicants tell Cooper about her illness and suggest that she tell NASA about her condition. House pops in and says that he’s already told NASA, and Cooper starts crying.

House waylays Wilson and he admits that Cameron’s been working in the ER for three weeks, and that Chase has been on the surgical staff for one week. House heads to the ER to see Cameron.

Cameron: “Three weeks. Wow - for someone that doesn’t miss anything, you missed something really big.”
House: “What are you doing?”
Cameron: “My hair, the ER, or both?”
House: “Your hair makes you look like a hooker…I like it.”

Cameron admits that she hooked Cooper up with House and asks why he told NASA. He admits that he didn’t, and she tells him that he didn’t tell NASA because he couldn’t kill her dreams.

AWESOME episode! I’m in love with Kutner! He’s the only applicant that’s really different than the other crew on the show…he’s smart and funny and is more like House than he knows!

I also liked the older applicant, Henry. House pulls him aside at the end and tells him that he knows Henry never went to medical school. He tells Heny that he can’t hire him because he’s not a doctor (he worked at a medical school and audited all the classes - some more than once). But he says that he can take him on to get him coffee and to hear his thoughts.

Henry: So I’m playing this whole game to be like… your secretary.
House: Assistant sounds marginally less demeaning.
Henry: Not my dream job.
House: Actually it is. Just isn’t your dream title.

House is such a sweetie! I know that sounds odd, but he is! I was extremely happy to see Chase (I love his accent), and not quite as upset as I thought I’d be to see Cameron. I guess I can stand her…if I have to…however, I think I liked Thirteen better! Now we get to see what happens next week when he’s down to only a few candidates left!

Tonight is Bionic Woman! If you haven’t seen this show yet, catch up over at Watching Bionic Woman.

House, The Right Stuff, Season 4